Getting your feet back into the dating pool can be difficult, especially if you have been hurt in your past relationships. The baggage can have a great impact on your self-esteem, and you might feel apprehensive when it comes to getting back on the dating scene. The most important thing you must do before getting your feet wet is to get your self-confidence back.
You have to say goodbye and good riddance to all the previous relationship baggage and pain – get your dating mojo back so you can dive into the dating pool and have a real chance of making a real connection with someone, someone with whom you can start fresh and create something good and real.
So, follow us as we lead you on your confidence-boosting journey and create a new you starting today.
Repeat “I am worthy”
It might sound corny, but you have to begin by kicking off every new day by telling yourself how much you’re worth. If you have to, make a list of all the great qualities you possess. Yes, put pen to paper and note down all the things you love about yourself.
Once you have covered the good, create a second column that will contain things you do not like and wish to change. Start with simple things like changing your hair, buying some new makeup and skincare products, a stunning outfit or two and then work your way to the inner things.
Take up a sport – yoga for example is not only great for the body but also for the mind. Practicing yoga has been known to have amazing effects on minimizing anxiety, putting your mind at ease and restoring self-esteem.
Remember you’re not a half, but an awesome whole
During the course of a relationship, especially a long one, two people begin to melt into one and sometimes you lose sight of who you are as an individual and you begin to perceive yourself as a half that needs someone to fill in the void. You have to realize that you are a complete person, an amazing individual, not an incomplete half.
Take this time to rediscover who you are outside a relationship, remember the things that YOU love or hate, what your interests and tastes are. Remember Runaway Bride and the scene where she makes all different kinds of eggs to see which ones are actually her favorite. Do that, figure out who you are, and when you start dating again, do not make the same mistakes by merging with the other person.
Make a conscious effort to stay true to who you are.
Take matters into your own hands
Once you have realized that you are an incredible, attractive, gorgeous, smart and complete human being, it is time to get back in the game. Go out and get your flirting game on. Confident women know how to make the first move, and it is not as difficult as it seems. If you notice a guy across the room giving you flirty glances, take your drink and approach him. Ask him for a favor, or just an interesting question. Keep the conversation light and breezy, with plenty of flirty banter. Let body talk take the lead, touch his arm, smile. Even if things do not go any further, at least you are getting back out there and improving your flirting game, plus the sense of empowerment that comes from making that first move can be intoxicating, and what is more, men are highly responsive to this show of confidence, so who knows, perhaps this could be the very first start of a blossoming romance.
Once you are in a relationship, for it to be a healthy one, the key is communication and setting clear boundaries. This does not only help you retain your sense of self-worth but also serves as a great foundation for the future of the relationship. Never allow your partner to make you feel less worthy; your interests and needs are as important as his. Compromise is always necessary, but there is a fine line between compromise and doing everything according to someone else’s schedule.
Never let yourself be guilted into doing something you explicitly do not wish to do. Convey to your partner who you are from the get-go, so there’s no room left for misunderstanding and resentment down the line. Keep your heart open, but keep your eyes wide open as well, and never settle for anyone who doesn’t make you happy.
Finally, remember to be open, honest and silly. Never be afraid to tell the person you are dating an embarrassing anecdote, something personal about yourself and your background. This type of openness will not only make you feel good, but it will open the gates for your partner to be candid and encourage him to confide in you as well.