Photo credit: Christian Acosta

5 Steps To Finding Self-Love When It Feels Impossible

Humans are used to blaming. From the very first days of our conscious life, we blame everything and everyone around. Parents and friends; teachers and schoolmates; employers and colleagues. This habit gets stronger and stronger. So, eventually, our energy is directed one way — outside, looking for someone guilty.

From the first sight, it feels right (the years of blaming experience don’t let us think differently). There has to be someone who ruins your life and must to be punished. The outside world is hostile and dangerous. It is full of obstacles and downfalls. Enemies are everywhere.

Sounds familiar? Sure. We hear it at every corner. It is the easiest belief to take.

But has it ever worked? Has it ever brought peace? Right… It has not. Because love doesn’t go from outside.

To fill the room with the delectable melody, first you need to tune the violin.

Step 1. Meet yourself

Usually, we feel uncomfortable when meeting new people. We don’t know how to behave and worry how we look like.

Meeting a real you is the same. To be precise, it is worse. When you meet strangers, you always have a chance to turn this meeting into the first and the last one in your life. But meeting the real you is followed by a lifetime together.

The only way to make it a pleasure is to give yourself time to show your personality in its beautiful uniqueness and sensuality. Let your inner demons speak and hear them. Stay open-minded. You deserve it. As much as the world does.

Step 2. Explore

You’ve been living with yourself all your life and there is nothing to explore? You couldn’t be more wrong.

Often, we pretend we are someone else. We create the person we wanted to be and believe it is real us. However, there are many tiny traits, fears and hidden wishes inside we never paid attention to.

Even so, these traits are what make us inimitable. Only considered them, we can feel safe and certain taking a journey to the outside world. Only considered them, the outside world will treat us appropriately.

Step 3. Accept

Exploring yourself, along with the nice features you, probably, will discover the nasty ones. Those features that make you hide the real you from the outside world. Though, there is no light without darkness. So, you need to accept every little detail of your personality.

Do not feel bad for being weird or judgmental sometimes. All our acts have reasons. Spot them. Understand what made you offend or injure someone, and work on it.

However, remember, your flaws make your virtues significant. You won’t be you without them. Neither will the world.

Step 4. Be a friend

To make healthy connections with individuals as well as the world in common you have to build a strong, honest relationship with yourself. Listen to your inner voice; let your feelings lead you; discover new shadows of your personality. Trust.

Spend some quality time alone with yourself. Create traditions to follow: go for a walk in the park alone once a week, or take a river bus regularly — to put your thoughts in order. Find your way to keep your relations with yourself true and clear.

Be supportive. Be understanding. Be a friend to yourself. And the world will become yours.

Step 5. Make a choice

Love is not something a stranger could bring into your life. It is not something to wait to suddenly appear. Love is a path you decided to take.

Let your fears go and take this path. It is unpredictable and full of trials. Yet, it is the only way to be open to the world as it is and to taste its true beauty.

While the life is a boundless ocean, the weather is a matter of your choice.

Photography by Christian Acosta


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