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10 Pillars To A Living A Self-Confident Life

Tired of relying on people’s opinions to make a decision? Or missing on incredible opportunities because you always think you are not prepared or good enough?

When you don’t feel confident, you may not trust yourself or your abilities and end up not taking action, causing you to feel stuck in life.

That’s exactly why it’s crucial to build and strengthen your self-confidence in your life, and in doing so, you will be able to face every fear and challenge that comes your way.

When you are self-confident, you feel quiet, relaxed, and comfortable being who you truly are.

Are self-confidence and self-esteem the same?

Self-confidence is often confused with self-esteem, and while they overlap, there is a distinction between the two.

Self-esteem is a certain belief in your overall worth and is connected to the knowledge that we have the right to be happy. People with low self-esteem tend to have the feeling that their worth comes from people around approving of them and quite often their worthiness is affected when they experience a lot of criticism or rejection.

Self-confidence, though, describes how you feel about your ability to perform roles, functions, and tasks.

In the modern world, confidence is, in part, a result of how you have been brought up and how you’ve been taught. You learn from others how to behave and the way you think about yourself is oftentimes a reflection of what others told you.

The result of your experiences and the way you learned to react to different situations build up your overall confidence too.

Confidence is the outcome of the thoughts you think and the actions you take.

Self-confidence is not a static measure

It’s crucial to note that your confidence to deal with situations and perform in life can increase and decrease, and undoubtedly you will feel more confident on some days and less on others.

Low confidence can result from a combination of factors including fear of the unknown, criticism, depression, feeling unprepared, poor time management, lack of knowledge, and previous failures.

The whole idea of confidence includes knowing what to do when you make mistakes and is also about problem-solving and decision-making.

     People often feel less confident about new or potentially difficult situations

The good news is that with consistent effort and learning to go from a fixed mindset to a growth one, you can gradually improve and expand your self-confidence.

How do you do that, though?

Below, you can find the 10 most important pillars you need to boost your confidence.

1. Build momentum

Confidence is built on accomplishment.

It begins with your day-to-day goals and keeping the promises you make to yourself!

When you realize you are meeting the small goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin to see some results and will start feeling proud of yourself too!

Keep in mind that progress does happen with small steps and big changes do not happen overnight!

2. Stand up for what you believe

It’s tempting to ask for advice when you are in doubt or you don’t know whether you are making the right decision or not.

Quite often there is a battle inside your head and you start questioning yourself and thinking: “How do I know I am right when there are all these doubts in my head telling me I can’t do this?”

Stop listening to the voices in your head and practice connecting to your intuition.

One of the best ways to tune into your higher self, aka intuition, is to practice some kind of meditation. The whole aim of meditation is not exactly getting good at it, but rather getting good at knowing yourself.

3. Take risks

How can you know what you are capable of if you don’t embrace the unknown?

Allow yourself to be driven by curiosity and not by fear.

Be a beginner. Do something for the first time. Learn a different skill. Most importantly: Do not settle.

You can have many great ideas in your head, but what really makes all the difference is the action.

Without acting upon an idea, there will never be any manifestation, any results, and any rewards either.

4. Review past achievements and celebrate small wins

Look back and try to find evidence of what you have already accomplished, but have never taken the time to acknowledge.

This simple act has a huge impact on boosting your levels of self-confidence.

By doing so you are sending a powerful message to your brain: ” I can do this, and here is the evidence.”

List the things you’re most proud of in an achievement log. Include big and small wins.

This can be particularly powerful if you have a tendency to negative self-talk.

5. Learn to receive and give feedback

To progress in life and in your career, you need to be open to feedback and be understanding.

Don’t get wrapped up in negative thoughts about yourself and don’t take criticism personally. This leads to falling levels of motivation and productivity and conflicts with other people.

Instead, remember that we are all humans and are susceptible to making mistakes.

Don’t think of your mistakes as a negative thing but rather as a learning opportunity. After all, growth comes as much from failure as it does from success.

6. Focus on solutions

For all the complainers out there: Complaining without offering a viable solution doesn’t do any good to anyone, let alone to yourself.

The best approach will always be to pinpoint the problem and brainstorm solutions.

Always ask yourself: How can I create a solution here?

For instance, if your problem is always feeling tired – ask yourself: How can I create more energy here? What actions should I take to feel more energized?

By focusing on solving the problem, you not only train your mind to be more positive but also regain power over your own decision-making and eventually increase your self-confidence.

7. Empower yourself to learn new things

One of the best strategies to improve confidence is through knowledge. The more you master something the more confident you will feel.

Be curious. Find ways of innovating in your area of expertise or learn something completely new.

8. Embrace impermanence

You can build resilience and confidence by staying flexible enough to alter behaviors and attitudes quickly to support a new direction.

When you accept that everything is temporary, you find yourself strong when facing the unexpected and are able to live a life with no drama.

9. Learn to say no and set boundaries

The more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, and all of them affect your confidence negatively.

Being a people-pleaser puts you far away from your own personal values and inevitably you will lose yourself and feel like you are living a life without purpose.

Setting healthy boundaries with people around you is crucial to fill your cup first and then be able to feel whole and fulfilled.

10. Dive into personal development

When you are trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is often yourself.

The key to creating this transformation is to really understand yourself and all personal growth journeys start within.

Increasing confidence takes commitment and persistence. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is the best way to start using the right tools, the ones that really work best for you.

And to know more about getting past the fear of taking action and feeling overwhelmed by it read our article on taking small steps using Kaizen philosophy.

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