What It’s Like To Be Married In Your Early Twenties
On December 16th, 2017, my husband and I got married at the ages of 20 and 22. Fresh from the hands of teenage years and even fresher to the hands of young adult years. We got married after one year of dating, and one year and three months of engagement. Despite our young age and short time together, we both knew that there was no perfect recipe for relationships that lead to marriage. For some people, dating for five years works out just fine. For others, dating for six months is the perfect time frame.
Waking up next to my best friend every morning and building a life together gives me so much joy. It makes me so happy to know that we are both working on a common goal, as well as working on our individual goals. A lot of people say that when you get married, your life stops or your life is over. Fortunately, for us it’s the exact opposite. We feel like life has just begun!
Being married so young has honestly been such an amazing adventure. From the very beginning to now, I can honestly say that we both have grown tremendously. Not only as a married couple, but as individuals as well. Being honest, in the short time that we’ve been married, there has been many challenges. However, the good times definitely outweigh the bad.
We both know that more challenges will come as time goes by, but every challenge is a lesson. We try our best to take something positive out of every argument, disagreement or uncomfortable situation. This ensures that moving forward, things are handled differently and effectively.
Being married with single friends
Two of our biggest challenges were being married with single friends and adjusting to life without our parents. In some communities getting married in your early twenties is a normal thing. In our community, it’s still pretty “strange”.
Therefore, a lot of our friends are single. Most of them respect our marriage and understand the depth of our relationship, others don’t really get it. We’ve had situations where friends have gotten upset about my husband not playing video games for 12 hours day, like he used to when he lived at home with his parents. There was also a time when a friend of mine got upset because she couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to stay on the phone with her all night, like we used to before I was married.
The biggest challenge with friends is the different levels of maturity and understanding. At this point I would say that most of them are starting to get it now, but there are still a few hiccups here and there. All of this is more annoying, than a “challenge” but it has surely caused a little tension here and there.
Departing from parents after marriage
Departing from parents’ homes was another big challenge. Our marriage was the first time both of us have ever lived on our own, or paid our own bills. It took some time for us to figure out a perfect balance and how to handle our responsibilities in a way that worked well for us.
After some trial and error, we understood what would work for us and how to run our household and that eased a lot of stress. In the end of it all, we don’t regret getting married in our early twenties at all.
Life definitely hasn’t “stopped”, and it surely isn’t “ruined.” I help my husband to achieve his goals, and he helps me to achieve mine, which helps us both to get to our common goals at the end of the day.
Is getting married in your early twenties worth it?
Marriage doesn’t have to be looked at as a bad thing, or as an anchor that weighs you down and drowns you at the bottom of the ocean. Marriage can be anything that you and your partner choose. Every single marriage is different. Every individual is different and different things work for different couples. Is our marriage perfect? Absolutely not! But, we’re growing individually, and as a family, we’re learning every single day and we are achieving our wildest dreams together. I honestly couldn’t have asked to be in a better position right now. There definitely isn’t an anchor weighing me down.