Often times in long-term relationships we get complacent in what we’re doing and we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of things that we forget that we need to continue going on dates and keep our romance alive. We get comfortable with Friday nights on the couch, watching bad HBO movies, and eating bagel bites that we forget that we also need to spend one on one time together.
Recently, my boyfriend and I decided to create a list of goals for the year that would help us in different areas in our relationship: one of them being go on monthly “date days,” meaning one day of the month was designated to a specific day just for each other. Even though we spend ridiculous amounts of time together, we still weren’t giving each other that undivided attention that I believe is necessary for a relationship.
With that, in January we had our first date day and from the on it has proved to be a huge success for two reasons that I’d like to share with you:
We chose to be disconnected
We live in a digital age where we are constantly devoted to our cell phones, and lose attention from one another. For our date days, we decided that we would be phone free and communicate face to face only with each other, except for emergencies. We were able to share stories, dreams and goals that even after three years we had never talked about, which turned out to contain some pretty memorable and laughable moments.
We were reminded of how much we like each other
While this sounds bad in perspective, what I mean is that we were only focusing on each other, so we got to embrace the small smirks and gestures we each made. We created days that were completely devoted to each other, doing the things that each of us loved. We started seeing each other so happy, in different elements, such as record stores, book stores, and coffee shops, taking us back to the first moments we had ever spent together. We used real cameras (not phone cameras) and captured each other in our joy and art of each other.
While this is only two reasons, there are so many others that have made these days so special and I can’t wait to see what else the year’s date days will bring. I highly encourage you to try a disconnected-monthly date challenge with your significant other. I know you’re probably asking yourself; what are we supposed to do on those dates that could be different than dinner? Well, below you can find a list of ideas that i’ve compiled from past and future dates!
1. Pick a random city out of your normal day and take only public transportation there (subways, metrolinks) and Uber/Lyft/Taxi your way around the city and see where you end up!
2. Go on a coffee shop tour in a city you’ve never been to
3. Visit a national park in your area and take a disposable camera with you and take fun photos to develop!
4. Find a day spa, enjoy relaxation and maybe even get a massage!
5. Go to a museum you’ve never been to and discuss the art and create fun stories as to why they may have been created
6. Find a local swing club and go dancing
7. Take a cooking class
8. Go kayaking/paddle boarding
10. Create a fort, play board games and order a pizza
11. Go to an amusement park
12. Have a picnic in a park you’ve never been to and fly a kite
These are just some ideas that I’ve had for our date ideas that I’ve come up with. What are some fun date ideas you’d like to share?