A Beginner’s Guide to Astrological Compatibility

Isn’t it nice when you come across certain people in life that you just click with instantly?

You just get them, and they just get you –– on a whole different cosmic playing field. It’s so relieving to not have to explain yourself to someone and have them just get you for who you are. Whenever I meet someone like this, I always like to take a guess at what their zodiac sign is, and the funny thing is I’m usually right, or at least get it on the second try! See the thing is, I recognize patterns in the types of people I seemingly get along with best, and how their cosmic makeup is displayed through their personalities, their emotions, and the way they show love and passion. I like to use astrology as a way to understand how these traits interact in personal and romantic relationships for me and for everyone else.

Can we ultimately get along with (or even potentially love) just about anyone out there though, despite their cosmic traits? Sure, of course we can! Just by being more self-aware, and understanding of how another person operates, or in this case, what their cosmic chart says, helps us understand someone’s unique energies and how they intertwine with our own.  

In terms of beginner astrology, each one of us is born with a specific cosmic footprint. Our birth chart, also known as our astrology natal chart, is basically our universal blueprint with the position of key planets and cosmic components in the sky the very moment we were born. Our unique identity of energy and persona.

Sidenote: Did you know you can calculate anyone’s birth chart online? The Astro Twins have a link on their website – all you need to know is date of birth (and year), TIME of birth, and location. Time is super important, but if you don’t know it you can always put 12 PM, or use your best guess. Here is the link to complete your natal code map!

Without getting too black-hole-deep into what a birth chart is completely made of, let’s just talk about zodiac signs first, which I’m guessing you’ve heard of? Your zodiac sign, also known as your sun sign, is the center core of who you are – the solar system of your natal chart. Each zodiac sign is also ruled by one of the four elements: fire, earth, air, and water. Sun signs that are ruled by the same element have a stronger ability to harmonize with one another, and truly understand each other on a deeper level.

Fire: Aires, Leo, Sagittarius

Earth: Taurus, Capricorn, Virgo

Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Water: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

When I was first starting to learn about astrology, I used to think that the basis of all astrological compatibility had to do with just our zodiac sun signs and elemental representations alone. Over many years of studying self awareness, spirituality, and more detailed astrology, I’ve learned that the metaphysical world is light-years deeper than just your sun sign. In fact, in many ways this is really just the tip of the astrological iceberg!

Cosmic compatibility can be as intricate and complicated as you’d like it to be, but it can also be super simple too. Just by understanding five key concepts of your (and other people’s) cosmic birth manuals, you can rise to an entirely different level of awareness and understanding for yourself and your compatibility with others.

Let’s break our stardust makeup down to just five key components to pay the most attention to:

Zodiac (Sun) Sign

The true essence of who you are, your sun sign will help you understand what keeps you, (or someone else) sane in relationships.

For example, I’m a Cancer, known as moody, emotional, nurturing and intuitive. My intuition is actually the driving force for what keeps me centered and allows me to really sit through all my feelings in a relationship. Looking at two people’s sun signs will help show you in what ways they can harmonize together and in what areas they might encounter struggles or challenges. Ideally, you would want to be synergistic in each of the ways you ground yourselves. 

Rising Sign

The Rising sign shows how we are perceived by the outside world.

Your rising sign really is your outer you –– your appearance, your attitude and the way you truly come across to other people. Oftentimes you will represent almost as many qualities from your rising sign as your sun sign, and people may confuse this as a zodiac mask you wear. These masks show our natural defenses in relationships and how we cope from day-to-day.

I am a Gemini rising, who sees the world as a place to continuously learn. I’m always naturally curious about people I meet. I want to learn everything about them, especially within close relationships.

Moon Sign

The Moon sign shows how we process emotions.

Opposite the rising sign, your moon sign is your inner you. It also is a depiction of our true reigning emotional needs, and what it takes for our hearts to feel full. Consider this one of the most important pieces to the relationship compatibility puzzle, because your moon sign will help you understand what it takes to feel emotionally content with yourself and from others. I consider people’s moon signs their soul signs: a deep picture of all the subconscious stuff going on below the surface.

My moon sign is Scorpio, and plain and simple what my heart needs is emotional intimacy –– both physically and emotionally. Things can get hella intense with a Scorpio moon sign, burning with passion and desire. You can compare your moon sign in relationships just like you do your zodiac sun signs above, and see in what ways you harmonize or clash through your emotions.

Venus Sign

The Venus sign shows how we give and receive love with ourselves and to others.

Venus is all about our romantic desires and social styles! The venus sign is the difference between those kinds of people who like tender lowkey moments, and those that like big, grand love gestures. Consider your venus sign your love language sign, that represents things like if you express your love mostly through touch or speech. These forms of love communication can help us understand what we are attracted to in the relationships we choose, and ultimately help us find a romantic partner who divinely suits our romantic needs.

My venus is in the sign of Leo, and I most definitely find myself loving through laughter and having a good time. Venus in Leo is a passionate powerhouse!

Mars Sign

The Mars sign shows how we express our deepest passions in life.

Your mars sign is your bold sign, explaining your driving force, your determination, your combat style, and even your … sex drive. Think of mars as the warrior in you: your primal energy and innate desires in life.

My mars is also in Leo, just like my venus sign, and explain why pleasure and playtime are what I live my life for. This Mars in Leo placement also explains why I’m so big into courtship in relationships. I really always have been a total sucker for deep romance and lovey-dovey-gushy gestures. (Ha! Rom-coms anyone?)

*To take things one step further, looking at the ways your venus and mars signs combine, will further explain the whole package of your romantic and sexual styles in your intimate relationships. The combination of the two signs is looked at both in terms of what elements they are in (fire, earth, water, air) and in terms of what the signs themselves represent. For example, both my mars and my Venus are in Leo, which is a fire sign. Double whammy fire! Romance on fire, desires on fire –– so much fire and passion!

To understand astrology is to be more conscious and self aware

I often refer to astrology as the greatest self awareness tool one can possibly have in their toolshed. While your natal chart does not explain your destiny in your relationships with others, it can help you better understand other people’s needs and personality traits, therefore improving your relationships overall. And not just your romantic ones either!

No matter what your cosmic-personality-cocktail is comprised of, (and boy are there a lot of variations out there), relationships and friendships of all kinds require us to put in the work. The best ways to thrive in any compatibility situation is always going to be to take responsibility, own up to your sh*t, and to always acknowledge and accept people for who they are.

We must celebrate our differences just as much as our compatibilities in order to have synergy in any relationship.