Whether we like to admit it or not, we’ve all looked at other’s relationships, even friendships, and thought “wow, it would be really cool to have something like that.” We often strive for so much more than we already have, but when we do that we look past what we currently have.

I spend a lot of time on social media: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, and there are two hashtags that have recently caught my attention. One of them being #Goals and the other #RelationshipGoals. These two are often used to describe how they want what someone else is accomplishing or the life they are presenting online. People look at celebrity relationships and want the love, money, and fashion that other celebrities have.

Others even comment on their friend’s pictures with “#goals.” While I don’t mean to hate on this group of individuals, I think this needs to stop.

I’ve really focused on these two ideas to help myself in creating goals that are more realistic especially when it comes to relationships.

It’s OK to admire other’s relationships but we need to start admiring ours

As much as we want to be like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, try focusing on what your current relationship looks like. Everyone is created differently and as much as we can long for a relationship like our best friend, we’ll never have the same kind of relationship that they have.

As simple as that concept seems, sometimes it’s difficult to accept because it may seem plausible in your relationship. I personally love to look at other celebrities and their relationship but never once have I desired that life for myself. My relationship is something I truly treasure because it is in fact, my story. It’s cheesy, and maybe even a little cliche but it’s the story of how we came to be and how far we’ve come.

Create your own goals

Relationships are hard and they take work. I can first and foremost vouch for that. We all struggle in relationships because we constantly want to be the best version of ourselves. But I think in order for them to fully function properly, we need to set goals based on our current situation.

For example, if we feel like we’re being too selfish, we need to ask ourselves, “how can i make this better?” I’m not saying this is an easy process, but I promise it’ll be worth it. When we get to a point where we can discuss our relationship goals to our partner, only then can you become so much stronger.

In an article written by Raquel Villarreal in Livestrong, Villarreal wrote, “as part of defining these goals, make sure to keep them manageable and actionable” which I couldn’t agree more with. When we set goals we need to make sure they are within reach for our own relationship, but with that, you can make a goal to eventually meet it.

Do you struggle with comparing your relationship to others? Let us know in the comments. 

Why we need to stop talking about relationship goals

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