If you’re like me, you’re someone who doesn’t open your heart to just anyone; whether it be in friendships or romantic relationships, it’s difficult for us to open up and put our trust in people. I choose to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself for fear of getting hurt. They say it will happen eventually, at some point, but you doubt it. You doubt that two people you’ve grown close to will come back and hurt you. You doubt that every time you see them, it will hurt. You doubt that their happiness, the only thing you want for both of them, will actually become what you don’t want. And then it does. And then you’re not sure what to do.

My best friend and I have been joined at the hip for over 7 years. We met in sixth grade and haven’t looked back since. She’s the type of person that I call at 2 AM when I finish a movie on Netflix and have no one else to vent to about how awful the ending is. She’s the person that finishes my sentence that starts “Oh, yeah, remember that thing we did at that place one time?” And she knows exactly what I mean. She’s there for me when I want her to be and when I need her to be. She’s legitimately the Yin to my Yang, and I knew that no one would be able to take that away from us.

In tenth grade, I fell for a boy. And boy, did I fall hard. It felt like I went face first into the pavement. We’d been friends almost as long as I’d known my best friend, but we never hit it off until later on. We talked constantly, hung out often, and even went on a few dates. I was smitten. He matched my intelligence, made me feel beautiful, and took great care of me. I was grateful for having him in my life for I knew that high school boys are “all the same.” They’re all “dogs”, but not this boy. Oh, there’s no way.

But there’s always a way. After a few months of dating, we called it off. This past summer, everything that everyone warns you about came true: my ex-boyfriend hooked up with my best friend and I was crushed.

“It’s just a one time thing,” they said. “It doesn’t mean anything,” she promised me. I try not to let it bother me, but it bothers me. There’s something about being betrayed like that that changes you. Whether it throws your whole world off-balance or just wrecks your day, it affects you. I hope that no one ever has to feel the sting of pain I feel when I think about the two of them together. But that’s a risk you take when you give someone a piece of your heart. Whether you know the boy for 2 weeks or 2 years, he becomes a part of your story. Whether your best friend is your soul mate or just a girl you talk to for 5 minutes every week just to stay in touch, she becomes a part of your story.

But that’s the beauty of the storm: it’s only a part of your story. I could let this drag me down, ruin two beautiful friendships, wreck my self-confidence, and affect all of my current friendships and my relationship. But I won’t. I have too much to lose if I let this betrayal get to me. Does it hurt to think about? Of course, and I believe it always will to some extent. But I’ve always been a firm believer in letting things go. No anger or resentment is worth your unhappiness.

To this day, I still love my best friend. This boy and I don’t talk, and that’s how I’m coping. He comes up in conversation and I choose to shrug it off. That was just a part of my life. Their hookup is just a bump in the road for me. I choose not to let it affect me today my friendship with my best friend and I respect her decisions. No one has control of another person’s happiness. We are all in control of ourselves, and no one else.

So why should another person’s decisions, whether good or bad, be allowed to control our well-being?

Have you ever been betrayed that way? How did you deal with it? Let’s have a conversation in the comments! 

betrayal

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